Hello and good afternoon. This is Lisa Grunden on the post of unfuck your life. And today on the podcast, I’m very excited to introduce you to none other than Kathy Wilke. Kathy [00:01:00] Wilke is the owner of freedom and fulfillment. It’s a branding and marketing company that specializes in helping women who are making the world a better place.
With our business to create marketing that differentiates their business. And it’s also an authentic expression of who they are. Kathy teaches women how to build a successful business from the empowered feminine, which means they learn how to run their business from a place of. Ease and flow and get to make great money and a big impact without having to throw their personal life and self-care under the bus to do it.
Let’s all welcome, Kathy, I really what you say there about how they can really run a profitable. Profitable business, make a lot of money and not get thrown under the bus. Because when I had a life in corporate America, it felt like I was thrown under this bus and that bus and six other buses that were on the way.
Cathy Wilke: Yes. And thank you for having me, [00:02:00] Lisa, I really appreciate being here and getting to talk to your audience. yeah, I think that, we’re under this impression as women because we’re in the masculine paradigm, in the work world where, If you want to make a lot of money, you have to kill yourself to do it.
And I’ve heard this from so many clients and colleagues and it’s actually believe it or not for the opposite, especially for women.
Lisa Grunden: So tell me more about that.
Cathy Wilke: there’s a number of things, the more, rested you are here you are, the more you’re guided by inspiration. The more creative and brilliant.
The more access you have to your own brilliance. when you’re slogging along every day, just feeling like you’re pushing a Boulder up a Hill as if, every day is just a series of obligations, you have to earn your monthly nut or, whatever it is. it, it dries you out and you start to build up resistance and that resistance takes the form of, [00:03:00] fatigue.
Fatigue of your brain and fatigue of your body. And it becomes very hard to generate anything that’s interesting outside of the box, or that has any kind of, magnetism for anyone.
Lisa Grunden: I know exactly what you’re talking about, because I know that when I suffered extreme fatigue at the, in the last few years of my corporate job, Oh, it just wasn’t even pretty, my work suffered for it.
It really showed because I just didn’t care anymore. I would really like for the audience and for myself to have a greater understanding and a better understanding of this concept of working from the feminine, as opposed to working with. Working from the masculine. So, if you will you just touch briefly upon the masculine, you already dead to give us a little more detail and then let’s talk about how, what you do and what you teach women makes a real difference.
Cathy Wilke: Sure. Before we even talk about the difference of between the masculine and feminine, I want to say that when I’m using the words, masculine and feminine, I’m not [00:04:00] referring to men and women, I’m referring to a way of being in the world, a mode of operating. Shall we say. there are a lot of men who are actually in their feminine or leading with their feminine.
We all have a masculine and feminine side. It’s just a matter of which one of them is really in the lead in your life. It so happens that the work world is set up completely in the masculine paradigm. And what that means is, the, goal is making a profit. And while I’m making money is a necessity.
And I realized that, and I have nothing against money. That’s actually, not really the thing that’s going to fulfill. Most women, women are fulfilled by being, in their purpose by giving their gifts by coming to the planet, doing the thing they were born to do and bike changing lives, impact. And in the masculine.
The paradigm is set up in a linear [00:05:00] fashion. the rewards are power and money, and, you use the intellect to create strategy and figure things out in the feminine. It is nonlinear. It is flowing you, tap into your intuition and your heart to make decisions because actually women aren’t really wired to use their intellect to make decisions we’re actually meant to use our body at listen to our body and our intuition. It’s just unfortunate that does not, is not very valued. but it’s actually very powerful way to move forward. And so the feminine is, driven by inspiration as opposed to obligation.
Lisa Grunden: Could a person still have a woman still have, we need to get stuff done. There’s stuff that we create. There’s a business there’s appointments that we keep there’s timelines we have for products or whatever it is. And, how does the inspiration [00:06:00] being in your inspiration fit into day-to-day operations necessary for business, for career for life,
Cathy Wilke: but a great question. I love that question.
Here’s the thing. if your business is just a series of obligations, it’s, it just drains you of your joy and your energy. And when you have to do things, you have two sources. to utilize, to get energy. One is force because you’re having to muscle up and do it. And the other one is power and force needs to be fed every day.
Every day, you got to get up, you got to muscle up and you got to push yourself to do it. Power. is generated through inspiration and joy and it’s generative. it, it keeps replenishing itself. We all know we’ve all been in the situation where we were doing something that we were super excited to do.
And, it was easy, to take nearly as long as we thought it [00:07:00] was fun. And we were energized afterward as opposed to feeling drained. As many of us do sometimes after a day of work. And The whole thing starts with the planning. The empowered, feminine is not about just laying around and waiting for things to happen.
It’s really about, the intersection between the feminine qualities of using your intuition, being receptive. being an expression, having your work be an expression of your inspiration and the masculine qualities of strategy and taking action. Oh no. Yeah, in other words, all the action we take.
Cause you know, we don’t, it’s not about effecting, right? It’s about they’re very different. And so all the action we take is based on. What feels fun and what turns us on and what feels exciting. And so when you’re doing your business planning, you’re not putting yourself on an artificial calendar of, Oh, I have to get this done by this month.
And then, so I can launch this and I can watch that. It’s you know what you’re [00:08:00] doing has to feel good. If you start to get a knot in your stomach, that you have veered into the wrong territory. It requires a level of trust that you can trust. To follow your desire and your feelings and that is going to lead you to a good place, because if you muscle through and push through, you may get results.
You may, get the money or the list build or whatever, but, it’s not sustainable to do it that way because it’s raining. So planning and trusting that, finding the turn on in the things that you want to do and making sure that, you are on purpose in your business, right?
You aren’t doing the thing that really lights you up, that you really love and then offering. You’re making your offers and your products and what you do have that be something that feels good to you, because if you’re following some model because it made someone else successful, then you’re actually [00:09:00] not energetically present in your business.
And if you’re not energetically present, then it makes it very difficult for people to feel attracted to what you’re doing. Requires a lot of push.
Lisa Grunden: I like that it requires a lot of push because I’m sure I know that you’ve got a summit coming up and we’re going to talk about that in a little bit.
you probably go to a lot of seminars. I know I go to a lot of seminars, whether I’m in the audience, on stage working in the back of the room, whatever it is. And very much, it’s a masculine model as I’m really present to what you’re saying. And it is, it’s all about making money. It’s all about the right formula and this is the way it goes and just get up and do it.
And so what I’m wondering is. Is it possible? Cause I heard the word trust in there a lot. And it’s a, it’s a big shift for, at least wise, a woman of my age and perhaps some who are few young. I look a little bit younger than I am, how we were taught. It’s you know, go be out there.
I am woman. Hear me roar. And [00:10:00] how do you go about. developing that muscle, that inspiration, that intuition, that trust yourself muscle. Do you have a couple of tips?
Cathy Wilke: Yeah, that’s a great question. I think it really comes down to being in your body and tap feeling into how things feel for you.
Because we all know when someone asks us either, let’s say to do something, it’s either, usually a hell yes or a hell. No. if you get like a little it’s a no.
Lisa Grunden: No?
Cathy Wilke: It’s a no, and I think we try to talk ourselves into it or we want to do it, or we do it. And that’s the first step is like getting really clear on your yes.
And on your no. and really seeing how it feels in your body, because every decision, can go through should go through your gut. really Deepak Chopra used to say, how I make decisions is I eat the thing for breakfast and I see if it digests or if it doesn’t.
Lisa Grunden: I forgot about that.
Yeah. I used to read a lot [00:11:00] of de facto. Exactly. I really liked the first tip that Cathy is giving has given us is really good. Clear getting your clear yes. Clear note and owning it and honoring it right. Own it and honor it.
Cathy Wilke: Absolutely. Absolutely. I think that, as women we feel, Over sense of obligation to people.
And this is where I’m going to talk about men a little bit. God bless them. I love them. Men tend to not do that. men are like, no, sorry, I can’t do it. or, when going for an opportunity, they just put themselves out there. They don’t apologize for it. They don’t, Oh, and I love that.
And that’s the part of the masculine that is part of the empowered feminine is when you have a strong desire. to, let’s say there’s a place where I want to go speak, I’m going to put myself out there fully to put myself in the ring for that, because I believe enough in myself that I’m going to do that.
And, but then I’m loosely. Holding the results where it’s if it’s meant to be, [00:12:00] I did my part and I let go of it. You know what I mean?
Lisa Grunden: That’s actually a very key component. I’m glad you mentioned it. Being unattached to the results, being accountable to doing our work, our action, our process, and unattached to what happens.
Cathy Wilke: right, because sometimes the answer to your prayers, not having your prayer answered sometimes. We get fixated on the opportunity that we think is so great, but there’s actually something bigger and better that wants to come in. And if you take that thing, it can’t. And so maybe that thing doesn’t work out and we get disappointed.
We feel horrible, but it’s no, keep the energetic space open because there could be a bigger thing coming. And that could for a million reasons have not been the right thing, but you just can’t see it. this is the thing is, and that’s part of the trust issue is understanding that there’s something bigger at work and you’re not always aware of it, but trusting the thing that’s bigger at work is for your higher. Good, for sure.
Lisa Grunden: I [00:13:00] really like that. the summit that you have coming up, it’s the empowered, feminine business summit that you have coming up in Los Angeles. in January on the 17th and 18th, are you going to be taking, do you, is it a workshop? Is it just to speak from the stage? what are you going to be doing narrative at that summit?
Cathy Wilke: Oh, wouldn’t you love to know
Lisa Grunden: a couple highlights. We want people to go. Yeah, absolutely.
Cathy Wilke: We’re going to be working on some exercises and things for increasing our receptivity. And getting more into the feminine of allowance and learning more of what it means to, be in the middle of the, the feminine and the masculine into the empowered feminine.
So how you make your business a series of not just tasks, but. Taking inspired action and feeling excited and how to find the turn on in everything that you aren’t going to be doing in your business. The other part of this is the crux of this event [00:14:00] is around actually a strong strategy for growing business, which is collaboration and partnership and cross-promotion.
And One of the main things that happens at the event is we do round table masterminds so that all the women, aren’t just it’s not a networking thing. It’s you’re at a table. You’re hearing, there are structured questions for each table. And you’re hearing like who this woman is, what she really does, what she loves about her business and what she’s looking for and what she’s challenged by.
And so everyone gets to contribute to each other and really get a good understanding of the women who are there so that you can. Figure out, who would be a great promotional partner for me, who might I be able to help grow their business and who might be able to, help me grow mine by introducing me to their community and you would do the same.
And so I also teach how to set up a partnership so that it’s a win-win for both people, because a lot of entrepreneurs actually have no idea how this strategy works and. [00:15:00] Right now in the transformational field, the whole notion of cross-promotional and joint venture partnerships is an extremely masculine model.
And so I’m teaching it in the softer, feminine, gentler model, which is, I think a lot more appealing to women.
Lisa Grunden: I think it’s a lot more appealing overall too, because I heard a couple of, really big things that you said there really key points, collaboration and community. There was, there were a lot of other words in there as well.
And because what I have learned in my upteen a number of years in business now, I think this is. The 10th year of business. And what I have learned is that sense of community, that sense of empowerment, the round table mastermind that you are having. It is amazing. The juice that flows, the intellect, that just the ideas that flow, that alone is worth the price of a ticket is getting that one gem.
Cathy Wilke: The million-dollar idea when you’re in a field of powerful women who [00:16:00] are coming with an open heart to give, and to be open to connection and collaboration. it’s amazing. And this is the fourth year I’m doing this, I’ve done it in New York and I’ve done it in LA.
Women’s the whole face of their business has changed sometimes from who they meet at this event, because it really is about making connections, like strong connections. so yeah, so there’s a lot of stuff about being in the feminine and, we have improv, so that there’s icebreakers and everyone’s having fun and really open to up and, dancing.
And cause I’m not one to stand up and give information. That’s not my thing. interactive event. And but this is, and this is the typical feminine, which is you work on the things around the business and the business grows because in the masculine it’s linear, you just work on the business, but for us, for women, it’s not a great solution.
And you work on the things around the business and the business flourishes. And Important businesses getting done there. I don’t want people to [00:17:00] think that it’s just a fuzzy little after two days of hanging out with a couple of chicks talking.
Lisa Grunden: The cool news is it is a couple of fun days with a couple of really hot ass chicks talking who are making big changes in their lives in the world.
I really like. How you said, the work on the things around your business, because that’s the one, if I could say the one crutch, step one, like big hurdle that my hubby and I have, because yes, your limitless potential as my business. However, he’s a really big part of it in the, behind the scenes, all the magic, all the online stuff of what he does.
And, that’s where we struggle sometimes where he’s okay, we need to do this and this. And I’m like, Whoa, wait a minute. I need to know why we’re doing this and this, or not even necessarily why, but, and all these other things that, I want to get clear on my goals and I want to get clear on where do we want to go do something?
I know that I’m not speaking in exact terms here. I see it all the time. Like today he came to me and said, we need to call to [00:18:00] action on these videos. And I’m like, they already have a call to action. What are you talking about? I think that we should work on our commitments for the week and a 90-day goal.
And do you have some tidbits for, or is that something that’s all going to show up at the event? Some tidbits of working that male feminine thing. Do you have any suggestions?
Cathy Wilke: You mean when your partner is a male and he’s, I run a, empowered, feminine business mastermind and a lot of the women are married and they are realizing that their husbands are way too into the masculine.
And they’ve been sharing a lot of the things from the mastermind with them. And the husbands are really, getting much happier because. The truth is the happier and more relaxed you are, the more people want to be around you and we’re selling a service that requires your, when you’re the service, then that’s super important when you’re overworked overwhelmed, brittle, agitated, really bad signal.
It sends out a really bad signal. So [00:19:00] I think with the husbands, with the men, it’s important to. Have them understand that, this whole thing and that’s another equation in the ma in the masculine is, more work, equals more money, hours for output model. Which is very linear.
And what I like to say is that model really is only really true. If you’re on an assembly line in a factory, you’re an entrepreneur. You could. you could say to your husband, you know what, this is really we’re grinding here. And I know we have deadlines, but you know what? I need to take a break.
You could go take a hike and come back with the million-dollar idea. I can promise you will not get sitting in front of the computer. Yeah. Trust that, you don’t have to be working directly on the business every minute of every day for you to get the results and get to the places you want to.
Things can move exponentially if you are, in the right vibration, because the truth is the thoughts that you have [00:20:00] about things. Are way more important, have way more effect on the outcome of them than the things you actually do. The actions you take on behalf of them.
Lisa Grunden: That was so important. Will you please say that one more time?
Cathy Wilke: The thought that you’re holding about a certain situation is much more important than the actions you take on behalf of that situation, because the thoughts that you have is actually, what’s going to determine the outcome.
Lisa Grunden: Yeah. I have seen that proven time and time again. There’s one more thing that I would like to go back to is you, because I have found this to be true in every program that I ever run, the hypnotist, that’s what I do for a living. And I, you talked about getting women in their bodies and I have found that’s really not only where the rubber meets the road, but where the superpowers are fired up. and can you talk a little bit more about the importance and maybe even a tidbit on how to get on your [00:21:00] body really embodying?
Cathy Wilke: I think the best way to be in your body is to be doing things that are physical. Like whether you’re dancing or hiking. I get up every hour and either go take a walk and it could just be a walk around the yard, just. Right and get into my body because I’ve been sitting at the computer and I’m just all up in my head right now.
And so it brings you back in any physical tasks. We’ll do that, go stand at the sink and do the dishes, it brings you back in. And you’re noticing your pain. You’re not in your head. You’re looking at the dish, you’re looking at the water. You know what I mean? The more you start. Notice what’s around you.
The more you start to come into your body instead of in this endless loop, that we’re all in our heads of what do I have to do next? And what about this? And, Oh, I got to call this phone. That’s not being in your body.
Lisa Grunden: I love that.
Cathy Wilke: Breathing, sitting down. it’s funny. The other day I had this moment where, I, I’m planning an event, there’s a lot [00:22:00] going on.
I’ve got two things that I’m doing at once. there’re many plates in the air and all of a sudden it just hit me, was like, I made over my head. I’ve committed to myself to be present during my meal times because I was shoveled and an inhaler of food from many so this is my practice.
As I was thinking, I sat down to eat some lunch and I start to do what I do, which is I start to get really present. I started to slow way down, just look at the food, look at what I’m eating and all of a sudden it was like a switch clicked. And I felt the sense of ease come over me, the anxiety disappeared.
And there was this email, but I’d been meaning to send someone for weeks that I’ve been constructing in my head, but I never send it because I never get to the end of it. And all of a sudden, the whole email wrote itself. I just quickly dictate it to her. Got it sent off and then relaxed and ate my lunch and the rest of the day, just flowed beautifully and easily.
Lisa Grunden: I [00:23:00] really love how you described that story in the moment, because ladies, that’s what it’s all about. It’s all about being right here right now. And it’s really easy for us to say that. And Kathy just beautifully illustrated it and to add a little more fuel to the fire that I’ve once was in an audience where a cardiologist.
Speaking. And she was actually speaking about our health and she said, you could kill it in the gym in the morning and do 15,000 steps, do the pumping iron and everything else. And she said, if that’s the only movement you do for the entire day, it’s it’s wasted that you need to continually get.
That’s why I have a standing desk so that when I’m ready to check email, I stand up, I check my email. That’s just one of the many things. And I love all the ways that you mentioned bringing back the body, bringing yourself back into the body. And you know what I really liked about it. They were like fantastic ways in your body.
Fantastic. Because it only takes a couple of minutes. You’re right. We don’t have to go out and walk a mile or two. We can walk around the block around the house, can [00:24:00] walk downstairs and, get a glass of water and walk back upstairs. It really is that simple.
Cathy Wilke: Yeah. Or you can have, you can set a timer and do three minutes of just deep, relaxed breathing and it can really shift you.
Lisa Grunden: Yeah, that alternate nostril breathing. Yes, definitely all kinds of breathing. That one I have found to be particularly helpful. So we want to thank Kathy Wilke for being here today. And again, she has a summit coming up in Los Angeles, California in the middle of January. Again, that’s called the empowered feminine business summit.
And Kathy, I noticed that right now that the price is two 97. However, if they buy before the end of the year, By the 31st is there
Cathy Wilke: there’s an early bird price of $97 if you purchase by December 31st. Okay.
Lisa Grunden: Wow. And for the round table mastermind alone, it’s worth and you get that million-dollar idea that $10,000 idea [00:25:00] that 50,000 to 200 grand, $10 billion, whatever it is, it’s more than. It’s more than worth the price of the ticket and you get to view your fabulous self-there too. So how exciting is that?
I’d love some as women empowering women.
Cathy Wilke: Yes,
Lisa Grunden: it does. Absolutely love it. And so is there anything else you want anybody to know about the summit for those that are on the fence that are about to buy.
There’s something else you’d like
Cathy Wilke: to, I’ll say this is that if it even resonates with you a little bit, and you have any curiosity, I would say follow that because one of the things I teach women is to follow that curiosity and that desire, because it usually leads to a very good place. I stopped going to events because I thought I should go because I thought it would be, yeah, that.
I wanted to be there because it felt interesting to me. And I can say also that I have had, way more business come from the events that I just really want to be there. And [00:26:00] then the ones that I’ve gone to, because I thought, Oh, I should really do this. If it resonates at all, and if you’re at all curious, you feel that kind of little inkling, I would say, com because it’s probably going to lead you to something good.
And I noticed that, as long as I leave my house, like when I’m out and about good things happen,
Lisa Grunden: That is awesome. That is just absolutely awesome, Kathy. it sounds like just the most fabulous summit ever. I’m going to make sure that I get it out there and I have the website here. It’s E M P F E M summit that freedom and fulfillment.com.
I’m going to actually put that out there in the show notes and in the notes on the show. So someone can just click the link E M P F E M summit that. Freedom and fulfillment.com. So ladies, if you are ready to take your game, your life yourself to a whole new level, we’ll see you at that summit in January.
So once [00:27:00] again, this is Lisa Grunden. Hey, thanks for tuning in to Unf$%k your life and an absolutely fantastic day. You have fun. You feel empowered.